Need help with my English question – I’m studying for my class.
AP Revision: Reverse Outline
1) First, save a new copy of your draft. You will want to be able to make large-scale changes without fear.
2) Next, write a Reverse Outline for your essay. To do this, go through your current essay draft and, one paragraph at a time, write a brief summary of each. This doesn’t have to be a perfect-looking outline, but paragraph summaries should include a) main ideas/points covered, and b) any key details or evidence that you use to support and develop those ideas.
3) When you’ve finished, you should have a complete Outline of your essay as it is. Go over this and look for opportunities to revise. These may include, but are not limited to:
4) Make those substantial changes in the new file that you saved in Step 1. Use new font colors, bolding, highlighting, comments, Track Changes, or whatever else you want to mark where the changes have been made. By the end, this should be a colorful and/or marked-up draft!
You will submit (in one document, if possible):
it is prof‘s comment
As I’m reading your AP, I am going to be writing down comments as I read along….then at the end I will give a summary and overall opinion of the AP. First paragraph: You wrote, “production is supposed. to follow carefully the inclination…” I think this is a great opportunity to include a piece of evidence to make your claim stronger…like where does it say that or who says production is supposed to be produced without harmful methods. There’s a sentence that I did not understand (“The paper champions the attributes of producing…”). I’m not sure of that sentenced was written correctly or if I’m just super tired but I think defining what paper champions means would be a great addition. I’m not sure if this is a better idea, you Ould ask prof. for approval, but I think u should say “this article” or “this essay,” instead of “the article” or “the essay” because as a reader, I think “which essay? This essay?” Or are you talking your CP? Second paragraph: Maybe define what GMO crops are? In the fourth sentence, starting with “The GMO…” instead of a comma, you should replace that with the word “and” since you didn’t add a third fact about GMO and the whole phrase after the comma seems like a statement. I don’t know what “wild relatives” means in this context, so I suggest defining it incase other readers like don’t know either. I would suggest to change the word “technically” to something else, because it is a but relative. In the area of the essay where you spoke of the fossil fuels, I’m not sure if my computer changed the format but I see it aspect of second paragraph…I would suggest making it into its own paragraph, if its not already and quantify how much risk is attacked to the emissions derived from fossil energy, instead of saying, “enormous.” Thord paragraph? This paragraph was really good, it’s the one about the use of fertilizers and it’s affect on the environment. I think this should be earlier in the essay. There’s definitely information in this paragraph that you could mention in your thesis statement, which, by the way, is said clearly in the intro paragraph, but I think you could be more specific….maybe by mentioning the fossil fuels or fertilizers, since you spoke a lot of in your essay. Overall, I enjoyed learning new things as I read your essay but its a bit repetitive and I think that if you record yourself reading it out loud and hear it, you’ll see where you can make some adjustments/improvements. Also, there are multiple opportunities where you can quantify the statements you made. I would suggest perhaps adding some chats, numbers, pictures, You could maybe find a visual that shows the rising trend of acid rain recorded since GMOs have been in use. Just an idea. These are all just suggestions , I don’t mean to be harsh but I am trying to give you feedback that could make your AP better.
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